Real Talk w/ Coach Archie

What Advice Would You Give Your Parents If they Had the Opportunity to Raise You Again?

Coach Archie • Parenting
The purpose of this blog is to help you to evaluate where some of the behaviors, we as parents display around our children come from. With all the distractions ...
What Advice Would You Give Your Parents If they Had the Opportunity to Raise You Again?

...in the world today, parents lose focus and often point blame, to society and other influences in America, but the fact is finding excuses is easy, searching for solutions and or resolutions often times seems to be the most challenging. 

If you were to summarize your life at this point, where would you start?  What's the first thing that comes to your mind?  Are you satisfied and if so, what is your percentage of satisfaction?  The reason why I asked, is to encourage you to take a minute and stop from the daily routine and do an introspection of behaviors that you may not be aware of that are negative.  The only way we can change our situations, is to start with changing ourselves. 

If you take all the information your parents or guardian gave you throughout your life from your childhood to adulthood, would you be satisfied or would you want a do over?  I encourage you to share the things that were effective when you were a child and what was effective as an adult.  What was the least effective advice your parents gave you and in your opinion why wasn't it effective?  Take a minute to write it down.  The purpose of this exercise is to do introspection, so we can begin to identify things that are running our lives subconsciously that we are not aware of.  The majority of people run on auto pilot and never realizes the negative seeds that were planted in them as a child that is still driving them in the decisions they make as adults and parents.

The more we inform our children at an early age about the history of our country it helps them to be better prepared as adults.  Below is a list of things I would tell my parents that would've helped me to make better decisions along my journey.

  1. Figure out what my interest are at an early age, and make sure to involve me in those things. -- This would have helped to guide me early, instead of some of the decisions I made trying to figure out who I was, that had lasting consequences.

  2. Talk to me regularly about our countries history and about the struggles and breakthroughs that African Americans had to overcome, who were our leaders and what they stood for. -- This would have helped me to appreciate and change my mindset about my own culture and what we as blacks have accomplished over the years.

  3. Who were our allies and what or who did they represent? - This would have helped me understand other cultures and how to form relationships beyond my own race.

  4. Instead of letting me watch TV shows or music that was negative, instruct me to read every day or at least on a regular basis. - This would have helped shape my mind for better things in life.Knowing that being better was possible for me at an early age, would have helped me from hanging out in the streets.The media has shaped our youth in more ways than we want to admit.

  5. Teach me and explain the importance of saving money and having good credit. - This is important to me.The education system teaches us math, but not how to manage money.Unfortunately, neither do most of our parents.Children should know at an early age the importance of their word and how their credit and how they manage their money speaks to them as an individual.Mismanaging money and bad credit will hinder them when they grow up and need to purchase assets.

  6. When I make a mistake, sit me down and ask me why with a caring tone in your voice not an angry tone. - Angry tones and disappointed looks only breed negative emotions in the child. Negative seeds only breed dysfunctional behaviors in our children.

  7. Tell me about my family members that are doing great things. Talk to me about family members that aren't doing so great and tell me why.- This would have given me a blueprint in my mind so I could visualize how my own family members made it beyond their own limitations and the reasons why some of other family members still struggle to this day.The solution should be that no matter what the status of our relatives are, they should all receive the same amount of love.

  8. Ask me how my day went. - This would have helped me to be more open and develop positive and better communication skills.

  9. Every day involve me in some household decision making. - This would have helped develop me at an early age to appreciate and value what it really takes to run a home and keep the family.

  10. Show me statistics and facts about the things you talk to me about, instead of just saying "don't do it."- This would have helped me to not only trust you, but take more seriously the information you gave me to process.

  11. Teach me the importance of having proper eating habits. - This would have helped me to have better control over my health instead of facing challenges in my body due to not having proper eating habits at an early age.

I could go on and on, but as I said before, if we are going to change this generation and the mindset in our youth, we are going to have to change ourselves first.  So I ask you, what would you ask your parents if you could have a do over?

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